Month 7 Photo Comparison

Because I can be such a techno peasant and for the life of me don't know how to attach labels that stay where I want them to the above photos are:

Presurgery: 350lbs
Month 1 - 42lbs
Month 3 - 72lbs
Month 5 - 93lbs
Month 7 - 113lbs



Weight: 236.8 lbs

After all the agonizing that makes a 9lb loss for the month. If you had asked me even 4 days ago would I have expected this the answer would have been a resounding NO! But during the last 2 days especially the weight loss has kicked in again. I dunno. I can't think of a good reason it would have kicked in but I will say that it hasn't been an entirely smooth process. Let's just say that our trip to Wonderland yesterday was nothing short of agonizing.


Total weight loss since November 30, 2006: 113.2lbs
Total Excess Weight Lost: 59.6%

General Ramblings Part 2

Updates are needed me thinks.

Report Cards

Mr 13 did better than last term. Still not great across the board but there is a positive trend and that for him is a first. I am very proud of him for making some of the changes he needs to make.

Ms 7. Straight A's. Three A+'s, ten A's and one A-. For the behavioural stuff - excellents across the board. We pay for grades. She's going to cost us a fortune.

Mr 16 did well on his two exams. His report card will come in the mail

The graduation ceremony was just lovely. It's amazing to see how well these kids scrub up with a bit of effort. Last night when I picked Mr 13 up from a post graduation party he said" today was a hugely awesome day". It doesn't get much better than that.

My weight: 239lbs. Thank goodness it seems to be on the move. One of the things I've added back into the process is Brie cheese. I think it's high fat content is helping move things along. I love the taste so it's a win win all around.

Job hunt: I didn't mention it yesterday but I did finally hear back from the recruiter. The hiring manager was concerned about the fact that I have little recruiting under my belt but was impressed with my training background. He's not ready to discount me yet. She is going to try and get me in front of him. I hope she succeeds. I would really like to explore this one further. I will continue the rest of my job search next week.

General Ramblings

Yesterday I did something I hadn't done for a long time. Sat outside and read a book. I sat under the canopy with my protein drink and read. I listened to the birds, watched the three baby squirrels ripping through the pine trees in a spirited game of tag and generally enjoyed the ambiance of sitting by the pool. I'd forgotten how relaxing being near water was for me. Mental note - do this more often.

Today is a big day. Report cards come home. I picked Mr 13's up when I stopped in to see his teacher. It's not a bad one. Not great but generally an improvement over last terms. There are glimpses of hope. Relief. Mr 16 is at school picking up his exam marks. I'm not sure when his report comes home. Ms 7 will have hers this afternoon. Given that she has historically only received one B and the rest all various shades of A's I am not expecting any nasty surprises. She has both will and skill when it comes to school work. It's pleasant having one motivated child.

This evening Mr. 13 has his grade 8 graduation ceremony and dance. It sounds like many plans have been made. It's such an exciting time in their lives. On the verge of entering high school and a land of much more freedom. Mr 16 has failed miserably with the transition. I hope Mr 13 has learned from his brothers dumb ass behaviour.

Time to go and buy supplies for Ms 7, soon to be 8, birthday party. The theme...Webkinz. The main attraction is the pool so I'm off the hook for the most part but having set a precedent of throwing hugely successful parties for her there is some pressure to make sure this one comes off well. The theme actually creates some pressure in it's own right - these kids know Webkinz inside and out, they will be my most critical consumers. I love throwing these parties - there's something to be said for a July birthday when you have pool at your disposal.

Weight today: 240.4 Holding my breath that this is a real dip.

I look "normal"

I was playing around with the webcam this morning trying to send a video to my nephew Darcy when I realized that I could also take photo's with it. The quality is not great but it helps me to illustrate a point.















When I look at this photo, I see normal. I don't see double chins. I don't see little eyes in a puffy face. I see normal. The normal lines and skin issues of a 42 year old woman but normal. I didn't really see it in the mirror but I see it here. It's a weird sensation. My body is not there yet but from the shoulders up I look normal. Wow

Edited to say: I just looked at my presurgery photo in my six month comparison. Clicking on it will bring it up larger than life. I cried. I don't even recognize the face of that woman.

Weight Update

241.6. Same as yesterday. Same as June 8th. Same same same

What am I doing about it? Well I've dropped my carbs back down. I increased the carbs/fats for a day to see if that would jolt it into action (some swear by this method). For me it didn't seem to work. I am drinking more. I am still not getting enough protein so I think so will try and up it to around 100grams per day. I am also moving more... I actually got on the treadmill and lived to tell the story.

Stalls are mind wasting events. It's amazing how much energy goes into hating the fact that you're not moving.

General Update

Weight: 241.6lbs. Sigh.

Garage Sale: We survived! After a slow start where we were second guessing ourselves about having done it in the backyard, business picked up and we ended up with sales of $397. Of that just over $82 belongs to Ms 7 and $34 to the boys. Not bad. We've already donated three huge bags of clothes to a local charity. We will donate all the kids books and smaller stuffed animals to Ms 7's school. The rest will be offered to a regional womans shelter. We have Barbies and Polly Pockets galore. They would be great for the kids that come through the shelter. So all up we made some money and have the chance to do some good... not bad at all.

Job Hunt: I did call the recruiter. Got her voice mail so left a message the second time. No return call. Time to move on and get my job hunt into real gear. I'm disappointed but can't afford to dwell. I'm sure this will be the first of many rejections.

Garage Sale

After three years of saying we will have one, and subsequently storing crap for three years, we are having a garage sale. On Saturday.

It will be my last.

I now understand why it has taken us three years to get to this point - it's a bucket load of work. When we were both employed full time we had neither the time nor the energy to pull one together. I have been sorting, cleaning and pricing for hours on end. I still have the basement to go. This is going to be one huge ass sale.

About half of the stuff belongs to Ms 7. She no longer plays with the traditional girl toys. She outgrew Barbie about two years ago. She has books that her peers have not started to read. Clothes she has outgrown cause she just keeps a growin'. Add in electronics, household items (many new), bikes, other clothes, books, computer games etc and you have a lot of stuff.

I hear that people who go to these things can be quite fanatical. This worries me. Hubby will not sell to anyone who comes early. He will tell people to get off our property if they offer him an insulting amount. He looks at "what is reasonable" I'm looking at it from "how can I get rid of this crap". As long as we can cover the cost plus a nice dinner - I'm good. This could be an interesting day. I wonder whether one of my next posts will be... I'm getting a divorce...LOL

If any of you have experience of these events I'd love to hear your tips

Waiting is Nasty

I've been waiting to hear back from the recruiter about an interview with the hiring manager. Nothing.

Figures - after doing some considerable research I have decided that I really want to work for this company. Everything I read about them tells me that there could be a really good synergy in terms of what I'm looking for and what they state their values to be.

I'll call today to get an update. It's such a fine line between being pushy and being aloof.

Struggling aka I feel like I'm failing

I'm blogging the post that I've been trying to avoid. You know the one... where someone who has been wildly successful in her efforts to date whines about the lack of weight loss. Yes I've lost more than 100lbs but no, it doesn't make it any easier when the weight loss slows. I still have so far to go that any stall, increase, plateau (insert favourite weight loss horror word here) plays havoc with your confidence. With my confidence.

Ok... let's start at the beginning.

Todays weight is 242.8lbs. I had gone down as low as 239 something and up as high as 245. As of today, 20 days into the month, I have lost 3lbs. Not bad if you are doing it with a full sized stomach and intestinal system. But I don't have those things. I should be losing more. I am just over half way through my journey. I don't have a magic figure in mind but I know that 3lbs doesn't work for me. Why? It makes me fear that I am on the edge of failing (failing is so much more that just the loss on the scale but I'll get to that in a minute). So many times in the past I have lost, stalled and then failed. Failure defined is "put on the lost weight plus more". This was not a one time event. It was a regular one. It didn't matter if I lost 10lbs or 100lbs. They would all come back with interest. If I fail I do it spectacularly. No half measures for this girl.

So now that I am living my most prolonged experience with weight bouncing that goes beyond the normal pattern that I have recognized over the past seven months I'm a little (lot) freaked out. What is freaking me out is not as much the lack of weight loss (although it is clearly a real issue for me) as it is my reaction to it.

I am, for the most part, an intelligent and rational woman. I can look at other peoples problems and come up with plausible suggestions. Nuggets of wisdom. Fragments of hope. All of that doesn't mean a thing when I'm dealing with myself. Logically I know that I am hard wired to succeed. It's the reason I chose the more complicated surgery because it has the highest rate of success among all weight loss surgery options. I am programmed to lose a higher percentage of my excess weight, I am programmed to be able to eat a relatively normal diet in doing so, and I am programmed this way for the long term so that massive weight gain is less likely than with some of the other surgeries. But logic doesn't even come into play when you're dealing with emotions and experiences gleaned from a lifetime of dieting. It's amazing how incredibly powerful these things are. At seven months into my journey I have not yet learned how to counter all that.

The result is that I tend to go into avoidance mode. If I don't write about it or talk about it, it really doesn't exist. What also happens is that I have this amazingly strong "WTF" reaction. The scale has gone up (again). WTF, that bowl of bits and bytes will taste really good. I'm at the same weight, WTF that carbohydrate packed food appeals so much more than the protein food that I KNOW my body needs for long term health. WTF could be rearranged to read Falling of The Wagon syndrome... whichever way you look at it, it is self destructive, has consistently contributed to my failure in the past and it's for ever present. I guess this is like the little voice that makes an alcoholic want to drink. It's there and I have to consciously fight it.

Something is going on with my body and it's playing with my head.

On the physical side my menstrual cycle is all screwed up. To the point that I purchased a pregnancy test to rule that out. Actually two because I screwed the first one up. You'd think that after all this time I would know how to stick a stick in a stream of pee... insert eye roll and move on. The result was, eventually, negative. But it doesn't explain why I haven't had a period for nearly seven weeks. I was running on a three week cycle for the three months prior to that. Could this be contributing to the weight issues. Maybe. Could it be contributing to the head issues. Maybe. I'm probably more hormonal than I've been in a long time. This is not something I've ever had to deal with. From the day I started menstruating I had a relatively easy run of it. No massive mood swings, no real pain, no headaches...nothing. I've been very lucky. So if it is my hormones that are messing with me I don't know how to deal with it. I have no experience. New territory and all that stuff. It's a learning experience that I'll have to take a few months to understand. I need to see the pattern before I can make a call. Forever the analyst.

So the bottom line is I'm frustrated. I am struggling staying the course in terms of my food choices. I am struggling with the mental side of things. I know I need to get back to basics but... insert all the excuses.

Avoidance is my middle name

I'm been struggling with my weight and what do I do? I avoid. I don't talk about it. I pretend it doesn't exist. Hence the no blogging. I haven't been able to get past the issues.

I miss writing. I miss having the outlet. I need to drop Ms 7 off at school and then it's time to spill all. Not promising anything earth shattering but I need to make it real so I can deal with it. Ostrich does not become me.

Don't feel like eating.

I don't want to eat. The last three days I have struggled to get in even half of my normal volume. I am rarely hungry. I don't know what I want to eat. Nothing really appeals. I normally find something that I feel like and I eat it, even if it means a trip out to get that particular food. But right now I'm not getting any sort of inspiration at all. It's 11.20am and all I've had so far is a pack of bran bites.

I'm trying to get in enough fluids because it's so hot here but even that is a real effort. Odd. Not like me at all.

My weight: Maintaining at around 240lbs. I saw 239 for a couple of days then bounced back up to 242 ish and then back down. This is pretty normal. I would like to see a continuous downward path but it's not how my body works so I'll just have to be patient while it does it's thing. It probably thinks it's starving right now and is trying to conserve. Who knows.

Time to go stand at the fridge. Maybe I'll just have a shake. It's easy. It's mindless. Works for me.

Phantom of the Opera

Last night we took the family to see Phantom of the Opera. Hubby and I have both seen it before but with tickets discounted to $50 each for the last few shows we thought we'd take the opportunity to introduce the kids to this moving story. Ms 7 struggled to stay awake during the second act (it was more than 2 hours after her bed time) but it was well worth it. The boys enjoyed it but she was into it. Asking lots of smart questions and forming an understanding of the nuances, understanding the sadness of a love that could not be returned, understanding the loneliness of a man shamed into hiding because of his appearance. It's very easy to forget that she's 7 at times.

We got home just before midnight and my plan was to keep Ms 7 at home today. But the little booger was up at 8am (2 hours beyond her normal 6am) and wanted to go to school. She was 25 minutes late but she was there. I think she really wanted to share her experience with her teachers and friends. Oh the wonder of pure joy.

I love that we can do this for our kids. I love that we can broaden their little world every so often by providing experiences that are beyond their every day realities. I hope we can always do this.

So today I am home alone. Bagged. My only goal today is to out and buy bread... I'll be very happy if I accomplish that. Today I'm taking a lazy slow me day.

Mummy you have skinny arms

Ms 7 and I were having a shower yesterday and she was watching me wash my hair. The following conversation ensued.

Her: Mummy, you have skinny arms
Me: What do you mean honey
Her: Well, if you look here, this is where your arms really are. The rest is loose skin.
Me: Yes. I may need to have that cut away. It would mean a scar all the way down my arm
Her: That's ok. It's better than that skin

Even with 80 odd pounds to go before I reach my goal weight the loose skin is a definite issue. It is most noticeable on my arms simply because it has nothing to do but hang there. The stuff on my stomach is at least attached in a more meaningful way. The arms are simply there. What does that mean? When I hold my arm horizontal to the ground, I have about a 2.5 - 3 inch hang of skin below the obvious line of the arm muscle. It is not pretty and is very limiting in terms of clothing options. Tank tops are not happening. T-shirts are not happening only because all casual wear this year has cute short sleeves. I could never pull that off. I would not want to.

So I believe that plastic surgery will be in my 12 month future. In all likelihood I will start with my arms and perhaps a breast reduction (I still have boobs... much further south than I would like them but boobs nonetheless). I will start my research soon - that way I know how creative I need to get with our finances. Think Enron creative here ;)

Interview Update

Ok, before I go into details. Let me say, for the record, that I looked hot! I had no one else to say it so someone has to right? Seriously though it's amazing the impact that clothing can have on your confidence. My clothes fit so nicely it was hard to reconcile the image in the mirror with the image in my head. I looked good. I looked professional. I looked like someone you want to hire.

I hope.

The interview was with a staffing agency. I really liked the recruiter - we connected well. She has already stated that she would pass me through to the hiring manager.

The candidate that they had previously identified apparently was a perfect match on paper. Her resume contained everything that they were looking for. However she left some question in terms of "fit". Apparently she was way too serious.

That leaves an opening for me. This is all I need - a little crack in the door to give the hiring manager something to compare against. I have everything they want in terms of training.I have some learning opportunities in terms of recruitment. I have the personality and that's what will create the possibility for me. So we'll see.

The company sounds interesting, the job sounds like an exciting challenge, the location is more than right - now we'll see if there's a fit...fit goes both ways.

It'll likely be a few weeks before the next interview but I'm happy to be at the next point in the process. I'm happy to be interviewing.

Wish me luck

At 11am I have my first interview in more than 10 years. I'm not sure whether the interview is directly with this company or whether it is for a client. This makes preparing difficult so I'm going to use this one as a learning opportunity.

I have on makeup...never happens. I have some lovely new Brazilian leather sling back shoes. I'll be wearing black pinstripe pants, butternut squash colour lace top and black suit jacket. If looking good is enough to get me through I should be able to scrape through to a second interview. Now lets hope the substance is up to snuff. Time to get ready... breathe deep calming breaths!

Caught up in the moment

Last night we made a last minute decision to go and watch game 5 in the Calder Cup final between the Hamilton Bulldogs and the Hershey Bears. Hamilton was leading the series 3 - 1. This might be the night the cup was awarded to Hamilton for the first time in the franchise history.

Over the years I've learned to enjoy this game that is so uniquely Canadian. In Australia you mention the word hockey and ice hockey wouldn't even cross our minds. Hockey = field not ice. I don't mind watching it on tv, although invariably I fall asleep, but there is something unique about being in an arena with thousands of charged up fans. The atmosphere is worth the price of admission alone.

Last night was a certainly all about atmosphere. During the third period, as it seemed that the Bulldogs were going to win, the crowd took on a life of it's own. The cheering, the singing, the Mexican wave that made it around the arena at least 6 times before we remembered to focus on the game all contributed to a memorable evening.

What made the night though was the drive home. Imagine 14,000 people all streaming into the streets cheering at the success of their team. Imagine thousands of cars all trying to leave the downtown core through a few main arterial roads. Imagine... me honking my horn to GO DOGS GO, taking turns with the guy in front of me. That's where it got funny. Ms 7 was beside herself. She was laughing the uninhibited, belly wrenching, laugh of someone so caught up in the moment that nothing else mattered. The sound was pure magic and of course inspired me to get even sillier. By the end of the drive down the main drag to the highway I had become quite musical with my horn, accompanied by a very accomplished flotilla of reveling fans. It was a lot of fun. I haven't laughed that much for a long time. Even Mr 16 had a good time. For a moment, thanks to the Bulldogs, we enjoyed a moment just living in the moment. It was a good moment.

And now to the weight loss moment, cause it's all about me and my weight don't you know! Last night our seats were in the nose bleed section. One row from the top. I climbed those stairs without losing my breath. I climbed them three times and lived to tell the story. I climbed the stairs, sat down in my seat ( not squeezed into my seat) and savoured the moment. What a difference 6 months makes. I remember posting about my theatre going experience in September or October. It was a devastating moment for me. But it was a moment that made last night all the more significant because I fully appreciate all that I have gained. I have gained normalcy.

Weight Update

This morning: 241.6lbs. Total: 108lbs down.

This week: 3lbs

Knowing the weight is still coming off despite my less than stellar performance: priceless!

Shopping

I'm not a shopper. I hate trying on new clothes. I find it a totally depressing experience. Well, I used to that is.

Yesterday I finally fired off a resume, my first one. Within an hour I had had my first screening phone call and we booked a face to face for Monday 11am. This is an agency representing a client so I'm not too excited yet but it's confidence building to know that my resume has the power to garner enough attention to warrant a call.

Anyway, a face to face meeting means I need clothes. I have none. Not one single thing that could be considered interview worthy. I mean I have about three outfits in total right now that I am stretching out with a few extra tops. Everything else is gone. Either donated or passed onto a friend who is also moving through her own weight loss journey.

This "I have nothing to wear" issue has been holding me back. Largely because I could not get my head around spending a bucket load of money on clothes that will fit me for a month. I got over that. My current focus is that if I need to spend $1000 to get this job it's probably money well spent.

So off I went to Jones of New York.

Let me provide you with some context. The last time I went shopping for "nice" clothes was in Australia. Eleven years ago. I was a size 16 (USA size 14) and looked good in most things. That's the advantage of being tall.

Jones carries size 18's... I didn't know that. These size 18's were made for me... nearly everything I tried on fit well. Oh no... I knew I was in danger. I felt the old "if it fits buy it" demon rising to the surface. I could have done some serious damage! The good news is that they had a great sale on so I managed to byu a three button jacket, 3 pairs of pants and 2 shirts for $375. All I need to invest in now is a pair of shoes and maybe one of two more shirts and I'm good to go. The jacket will have to be my staple for the next month or two, the rest I can mix and match.

I am so excited. Most of all I feel ready to do this job search thing. Isn't it funny how not having something to wear was creating such an issue for me. I figure that I'll ebay these clothes in a few months and then go back for some new clothes. I could do this again happily...the neat thing is that each time I go back it'll be because I need a smaller size. Gotta love that!

It's all about the kids

As a parent, kids naturally dominate most aspects of your life. Even when you're not with them you're thinking about them. Thinking about their challenges, thinking about the special things they do, thinking about how to support them in becoming good citizens. You're always thinking about them.

Children are both the most rewarding and frustrating undertaking you are likely to ever encounter.

So with that - I figure its time for an update, especially given the trials and tribulations I've shared periodically in this blog.

Mr 16. In the past two weeks we have received two emails from his history teacher. The latest one sharing with us that he is playing on his DS in class rather than staying focussed. Apparently the same happens in math. When confronted yesterday his response was "yes, I've slacked off". I have to say that made me laugh...his starting point was not doing homework and not paying attention in class. It's hard to imagine that he can slack off any more but he found a way. Got to give him an A for that. Later yesterday after a run in with his dad, during a less than pretty rage he basically said that he doesn't care about screwing up because no matter what he does we'll find something else that he's screwed up, some small thing. Better the small things than the big things son. Giving up because you don't want anyone to ever give you feedback just isn't going to cut it. Here's my solution - get you head out of the ground (cleansed from what I was really thinking) long enough to ensure you don't screw up needlessly. Screw ups happen - going out of your way to be a dumbass is what we have issue with. He really doesn't see that he is closing so many doors with his actions. He doesn't want to see because that would require significant effort on his part to keep those doors from being nailed shut permanently.

Mr 13 is currently on his grade 8 trip. Yesterday two bus loads left for Quebec City... a 12 hour drive to all things French Canadian. His inclusion on the trip was a last minute one. He lost it last year as a result of his behavior but I have to hand it to him...even knowing he wasn't going he has really turned it around this year. His grades aren't great but he's putting in an effort. The attitude has improved significantly. He still has his teenager/little boy moments where he is nothing short of a pain in the butt but they are less often than more. He is more a 'normal' teenager with all the ups and downs that that entails. For his efforts we convinced the school to take him. He was thrilled. I think he realizes that his actions have allowed him to earn back the privilege of going. I hope it sticks. Next year he is off to high school and as a natural follower that places him at risk. I am more hopeful though that this could be a positive experience.

Ms 7. A couple of days ago she shared with me that she is really lonely both at school and at home. At home she is the youngest. The boys exclude her because well, they are older, she is a girl and they have no patience for her. Some of this is natural, the age difference does have a huge impact. Some of it is them being them - they are still too self centred to cater to a 7 year old. Some of the problem is that she seems so mature at times that you forget that she's 7. They expect more from her than perhaps they should. Dad sometimes does this too. She is 7 socially. Mentally she's 12.

The school thing caught me by surprise. In a sobbing and lengthy discussion she told me that she had no friends at school. I managed to get her to bring that down to specific examples so I could offer her some advice on what she could do. At this age it's so hard for them to understand the impact of their own behaviours on others. Ms 7 knows the difference between right and wrong...when someone is breaking the rules she does not hesitate to tell them. What she is trying to do is stop them from getting into trouble, what her friends hear no doubt is little miss bossy goody two shoes. When you say something wrong, Ms 7 will correct you. You can imagine how well this would go over with other 7 and 8 year olds.

Yesterday was a better day. She played with a few of her class mates. Her task for the day... don't correct anyone unless not correcting them would put someone in danger. Where safety is concerned all bets are off. It's such a fine line - she is such a bright kid and sharing that obviously brings her pleasure. I want her to enjoy that intelligence and not feel that she ever has to "dumb it down" to keep friends. I also want her to learn the social skills that will allow her to make life long friendships. Kids can be so cruel. I don't want her to be unhappy during her school years.

So my kids occupy much of my thinking time. It is all about them. I hope that when all is said and done that we can look back and see that we raised good hearted contributing members of society. I just hope that the kids will look back and know they were loved. Even when that love was tough.

Closure

Today I signed off on my severance package.

My lawyer had gone back to my employer with requests that would have allowed me to better accommodate the fact that I have multiple sclerosis. They denied all the requests. So as of today I am more than $2000 in the hole for lawyers fees, I will not be able to get short term or long term disability insurance because I have a pre existing condition and I have to hope against all odds that I don't have a serious MS attack before I am re employed.

Don't get me wrong - the package offered is a very reasonable one, all things being equal, I'm just on the wrong side of equal.

The positive thing though is that it's done. I know what my parameters are and can now plan accordingly. I'm disappointed that after 10 years I didn't have a more successful outcome but I feel like I can now move on. The unknown was holding me back.

So... thank you for the opportunity to move on to bigger and better things. I gave 10 years and gained a lot of experience in return. I feel free.

Sorry I can't come to the door

I have Nair on the body parts I want smooth.

I have olive oil conditioner on the stuff I want shiny.

I have a masque around my eyes in a bid to de-puffify them (yes I know I'm making up words).

It's not pretty. Please call again.

Red Bull has nothing on the DS

When I was struggling with the coma inducing effects of sleep apnea I would often drink Red Bull, or equivalent, before doing the two hour drive to our London office. The drive itself is a snorefest - straight, boring highway. Add in the sleep apnea and, well, let's just say that I was lucky that the drive wasn't deadly. It could have been. I did doze off. Several times. In the fast lane.

Anyway, those days are long behind me. Now I am going for 18 - 19 hours a day with energy to spare. This weekend it hit home how different life really is. I cleaned up a storm. I cleaned out my fridge at 10pm at night. Why? Because it needed to be done. Because I could. I sorted out some of the kitchen cabinets. I helped the boys get their room into a state of "almost acceptable". I played taxi driver for the kids. We went to the school fair. Soccer photo's. I trimmed trees, weeded, watered. And this was just Saturday.

This would never have happened pre surgery. Because I couldn't. Although I am not getting done what I want to, I am certainly getting in more life than I have in a long while. I've just been too busy to recognize it. It's quite the feeling. I got a stack load of things done this weekend. I - dare I say it - feel like I'm moving in a forward direction!

Weight Update

245lbs. Down 105lbs. 85lbs to go before I am at the weight I agreed with Dr L.

BMI:

Presurgery: 50.1
Today: 35.1

A few more pounds and I am at a weight that would not qualify me for weight loss surgery.

I have lost as much as Mr 13 weighs. I have lost a person. I have gained back health.