Update: Mum

To say that life is a little full is an understatement. I've been busy living it but not so much dealing with it. Of course I come back here to do the brain dump... it's amazing how therapeutic it can be.

To avoid doing one horrendously long update I will break it down into several smaller ones. First, the thing that occupies my thoughts most often these days...my Mum.

During the time we were in Australia Mum spent three full days in the hospital and went back for a day visit once. Her primary issue these days, aside from the cancer that is rapidly growing, is dehydration. We left last Tuesday and she has already been back for a iv fluids twice... things seem to be escalating. We know that the cancer is growing. The pattern that is unfolding is that about every 5 days she is having to have her pain medication dosages increased. Basically what happens, as with nearly all cancers, is that as the cancers grow they press on organs or nerves. Both result in pain.

There is no more reprieve for Mum - it has really become an exercise in managing her pain. The fact that she will die soon saddens me - no one wants to lose someone they love. What irks me more though is the thought of her experiencing the level of pain that she is. She waits too long to voice her pain - last time it was a nurse that noticed she was not comfortable. Mum didn't say anything.

I hope she gets smarter about this - my message to her was that if at some point she needed to be drugged to the eyeballs then so be it. Lucidity has little value when you can't manage through the pain.

Mum has two appointments with her specialists this week - hopefully we'll know more soon. Whatever happens I want it to happen quick. I want her to be pain free again. For ever.