Leaving on a Jet Plane...
The title alone does a lot to date me...lol!
A bit of good news and some better news. Let's start with the better news.
Mum's blockage has seem to resolved itself. The surgeon has not experienced this before so once again Mum is proving to be an anomaly. What this means is that she is able to now keep food down. As long as this continues, and as long as she can keep herself sufficiently hydrated, the prognosis has swayed to a couple of months rather than a couple of weeks. This of course could change overnight but for now Mum is home (yay), pain free thanks to some kick ass morphine (and don't we Dser's remember the joys of morphine those few post surgery days?) and very excited about her daughter, and granddaughter visiting from the frozen tundra of Canada. (This is the good news)
Yes I'm bringing Ms 8. Had the prognosis stayed at the "weeks" level I would have left her at home. Thanks to the feedback of a few wonderful friends I was leaning more to leaving her behind. I remember when my grandmother died. She actually died while I was on a flight to Holland. I was visiting her enroute to a business trip in Toronto at the time. She passed away before I landed. In all their wisdom my relatives took me to see her body. I wish they never had. She had changed since I saw her last and my memory is now of the body, not so much of her. This was my experience as an adult and the experience on an 8 year old would be equally as difficult.
What swayed us to bring her was firstly that the prognosis had changed. It is less likely that Mum will pass away while we are there. Secondly the fact that her oncologist said that she looked better than she did three years ago. If that is the case Ms 8's memory is not likely to have to be significantly altered. Thirdly, once we had a sense that Ms 8 may not be exposed to the actual death, we considered the side benefits of her coming along. It will bring great joy to my Mum and Dad. She is both their first biological grandchild, and only granddaughter. She will be a welcome distraction to those facing the more serious business of dying.
Hubby has been so wonderul throughout this decision making process. He said all the right things in terms of me developing a comfort level to leave Ms 8 behind. My main concern has always been the lack of support for Ms 8 when I am gone. The boys just don't know how to be supportive and they are not yet ready to learn. Hubby was willing to do whatever was necessary, including working from home for a good chunk of the time so that he could be here for her. After pressing him from many angles he left me no doubt that he would be there for her. It was a weight off my shoulders.
I had actually decided to leave her. He decided she should go. Talk about a reversal of positions. I am comfortable that she is going. There is a chance that something may happen while we are there but I am ready for that. We will find a way to protect Ms 8 as much as possible while at the same time give her the chance to build one more positive memory set around Oma and Opa. She still remembers our last trip 3 years ago. This one will likely build a lasting impression.
We will be gone from June 17th to July 8th. This visit is longer than the last but with the ability to work during this period I can really stretch out my vacation hours. Thank goodness for my work and my boss. I am so lucky to have found this job/ company.
Now the scary stuff. I have less than 3 days to get myself totally organized from a work and personal life perspective. This gives me palpatations! I have so much to do including getting a visa for Ms 8 and a notarized note to say that I can take Ms 8 out of the country without her dad. Add in paying bills, putting in about 30 hours of work effort on the work front, washing, shopping, packing and you get the picture. That 27 hour trip will be a great time to catch up on the sleep that I will not be getting.
I'm looking forward to seeing my family again.
A bit of good news and some better news. Let's start with the better news.
Mum's blockage has seem to resolved itself. The surgeon has not experienced this before so once again Mum is proving to be an anomaly. What this means is that she is able to now keep food down. As long as this continues, and as long as she can keep herself sufficiently hydrated, the prognosis has swayed to a couple of months rather than a couple of weeks. This of course could change overnight but for now Mum is home (yay), pain free thanks to some kick ass morphine (and don't we Dser's remember the joys of morphine those few post surgery days?) and very excited about her daughter, and granddaughter visiting from the frozen tundra of Canada. (This is the good news)
Yes I'm bringing Ms 8. Had the prognosis stayed at the "weeks" level I would have left her at home. Thanks to the feedback of a few wonderful friends I was leaning more to leaving her behind. I remember when my grandmother died. She actually died while I was on a flight to Holland. I was visiting her enroute to a business trip in Toronto at the time. She passed away before I landed. In all their wisdom my relatives took me to see her body. I wish they never had. She had changed since I saw her last and my memory is now of the body, not so much of her. This was my experience as an adult and the experience on an 8 year old would be equally as difficult.
What swayed us to bring her was firstly that the prognosis had changed. It is less likely that Mum will pass away while we are there. Secondly the fact that her oncologist said that she looked better than she did three years ago. If that is the case Ms 8's memory is not likely to have to be significantly altered. Thirdly, once we had a sense that Ms 8 may not be exposed to the actual death, we considered the side benefits of her coming along. It will bring great joy to my Mum and Dad. She is both their first biological grandchild, and only granddaughter. She will be a welcome distraction to those facing the more serious business of dying.
Hubby has been so wonderul throughout this decision making process. He said all the right things in terms of me developing a comfort level to leave Ms 8 behind. My main concern has always been the lack of support for Ms 8 when I am gone. The boys just don't know how to be supportive and they are not yet ready to learn. Hubby was willing to do whatever was necessary, including working from home for a good chunk of the time so that he could be here for her. After pressing him from many angles he left me no doubt that he would be there for her. It was a weight off my shoulders.
I had actually decided to leave her. He decided she should go. Talk about a reversal of positions. I am comfortable that she is going. There is a chance that something may happen while we are there but I am ready for that. We will find a way to protect Ms 8 as much as possible while at the same time give her the chance to build one more positive memory set around Oma and Opa. She still remembers our last trip 3 years ago. This one will likely build a lasting impression.
We will be gone from June 17th to July 8th. This visit is longer than the last but with the ability to work during this period I can really stretch out my vacation hours. Thank goodness for my work and my boss. I am so lucky to have found this job/ company.
Now the scary stuff. I have less than 3 days to get myself totally organized from a work and personal life perspective. This gives me palpatations! I have so much to do including getting a visa for Ms 8 and a notarized note to say that I can take Ms 8 out of the country without her dad. Add in paying bills, putting in about 30 hours of work effort on the work front, washing, shopping, packing and you get the picture. That 27 hour trip will be a great time to catch up on the sleep that I will not be getting.
I'm looking forward to seeing my family again.
posted by Aussieabroad at
6:45 AM
2 Comments:
(Well, if that dates you, it dates me, too!)
I haven't been commenting, but I read every post and keep you, your mother, and your family in my thoughts. My mother died of cancer when I was in my 20s -- it's tough, I know.
FWIW, I think you're doing the right thing by taking your daughter, as long as your mother is still able to communicate and interact. My own niece was only 4 at the time of my mother's illness, and she saw her regularly (i.e., so each individual visit wasn't likely to make as big an impression as this one will) -- but this also meant that she grew up without fear of interacting with old people, ill people, etc. In fact, since the age of 5, she's wanted to be a doctor -- and she starts med school in Fall 2009.
I'll be thinking of you.
xo
By
Anonymous, At
1:30 PM
Hugs and postive thoughts. I hope the trip home is uneventful - I'm sorry about the circumstances surrounding it.
Karin
(can't get logged in)
By
Anonymous, At
3:48 PM
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