Weight Update

Today: 221.4lbs

Eight days ago: 221.4lbs

In between: lots of little ups and downs.

I have to say it's getting a little old. I'm at the point in my journey where I'm beginning to understand why I have failed so many times in the past. At the beginning of a diet, and I have tried more than my fair share, there is extreme motivation which is fanned by seeing the pounds come off. It's exciting, its new. Then the weight loss slows, stops or reverses. It's not so exciting any more and it's definitely not new. The routine of it all becomes depressing. Depression that is deepened when you still think about how far you have to go. Then you begin to wonder if it's worth it. Is it worth the deprivation and hunger? Invariably at some point the answer is no. No it's not worth it. That's how I became super morbidly obese.

This time around it is different. I am not struggling with the fact that I will be eating/supplementing this way for the long haul. I am not feeling deprived because I am denying myself nothing. If there is a flavour that I want, I have it. Usually in very small amounts but I have it.

This time around I know that the weight will continue to come off. I am not as afraid of failing overall as I was when I started this latest (and last) weight loss journey. I have already lost a significant amount of my excess weight. More will come off albeit extremely slowly.

The excitement has largely worn off though. I don't stand on the scale with anticipation anymore. I stand on it with hope. Hope that I have not gained significantly. Hope that the number edges down a little. This is the part of the journey where I am going to have to work.

And largely, other than trying to navigate the head stuff, I have not worked that hard yet. My body is telling me that in order to reach my ultimate goal, I am now going to have to work. I have to move. I have to develop more muscle mass. I have to strengthen. I may also have to tweak my eating regime a little. Mixing it up is a good thing and as I shrink my body needs less... I have not yet adjusted for that.

The goal weight that I agreed with my surgeon was 160lbs. A more realistic goal based on my height, age and body type is probably 170lbs. So as of today I have between 58 and 68lbs to lose. That is still a large amount of weight. If I keep losing at the 5lbs a month rate I will lose this weight over the next 12 months. Doable... I think so. Would I like it faster? Absolutely. Will I be happy just to get there? You bet.