Wow... it got even uglier
Mr 14 is struggling with the fact that he has to go to his mom's this weekend while his brother is allowed to stay at home alone.
My logic is simple. Mr 17 is starting to show signs of humanity - I want to give him the chance to prove himself. Besides which someone needs to be at home when Ms 8 comes back from her camping trip on Sunday. Yes there's a selfish reason too.
Mr 14 has not shown himself to be capable of making sound decisions. To leave them together would leave the onus of responsibility on Mr 17, I'm not sure Mr 17 is ready to take responsibility for himself yet. To leave them together would set Mr 17 up for failure. I need him to have a win.
Mr 14 is not happy. Mr 14 took me down a discussion path of looking at every aspect of his miserable young life. I tell you it wasn't pretty. How horrible is it that
1. between him and his brother they are expected to empty the dishwasher and take out the recycling daily. The issue is that their 8 year old sister does not have to do these things. What they forget is at 8 they did not do these things. What he can't see is that when she is 14 she will be the only child in the house and will need to do both. By herself.
That's it in terms of chores. No need for a number 2. Life is tough.
This kid has so much resentment in his little body. He feels hard done by. He wants to be paid for everything. We should apparently be paying for the privilege of his company. A cell phone is a basic requirement. Uh...no. You act like an ass. You lose it. You wait till you get home and use the phone there. Welcome to reality.
Anyway, the discussion was long, circular and pointless. At the end I lost it. For the first time in 12 years he has seen me cry. I do not cry for myself. I cried because I felt trapped. Trapped because I see no way out of this one. I do not want to end my marriage. I love my husband. I do not want to send him away (well, maybe a little) to his mom's because he has more of a chance of pulling through this crap living here than living there. But I'm facing potentially years more of this bullshit before he starts to grow out of it. I don't know if I have the fortitude to see it through. Yes it was ugly.
I think seeing me cry shocked the crap out of him. He's backed right down. The good I guess is that he could have gone in for the kill but he didn't. Be thankful for small things right?
My logic is simple. Mr 17 is starting to show signs of humanity - I want to give him the chance to prove himself. Besides which someone needs to be at home when Ms 8 comes back from her camping trip on Sunday. Yes there's a selfish reason too.
Mr 14 has not shown himself to be capable of making sound decisions. To leave them together would leave the onus of responsibility on Mr 17, I'm not sure Mr 17 is ready to take responsibility for himself yet. To leave them together would set Mr 17 up for failure. I need him to have a win.
Mr 14 is not happy. Mr 14 took me down a discussion path of looking at every aspect of his miserable young life. I tell you it wasn't pretty. How horrible is it that
1. between him and his brother they are expected to empty the dishwasher and take out the recycling daily. The issue is that their 8 year old sister does not have to do these things. What they forget is at 8 they did not do these things. What he can't see is that when she is 14 she will be the only child in the house and will need to do both. By herself.
That's it in terms of chores. No need for a number 2. Life is tough.
This kid has so much resentment in his little body. He feels hard done by. He wants to be paid for everything. We should apparently be paying for the privilege of his company. A cell phone is a basic requirement. Uh...no. You act like an ass. You lose it. You wait till you get home and use the phone there. Welcome to reality.
Anyway, the discussion was long, circular and pointless. At the end I lost it. For the first time in 12 years he has seen me cry. I do not cry for myself. I cried because I felt trapped. Trapped because I see no way out of this one. I do not want to end my marriage. I love my husband. I do not want to send him away (well, maybe a little) to his mom's because he has more of a chance of pulling through this crap living here than living there. But I'm facing potentially years more of this bullshit before he starts to grow out of it. I don't know if I have the fortitude to see it through. Yes it was ugly.
I think seeing me cry shocked the crap out of him. He's backed right down. The good I guess is that he could have gone in for the kill but he didn't. Be thankful for small things right?
posted by Aussieabroad at
8:37 PM
1 Comments:
Wow Ann....I'm sorry things are so rough with him.
I pray with all my heart that things get better quickly...and, selfishly, I pray I don't deal with that crap with my boys. Frankie is testing already and he's just coming up on 12. Lord help me....US!
By
Anonymous, At
9:57 PM
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home