Memories
Form so much of who we are. Memories of our childhood, our friends, our family. All are building blocks in the life that we build for ourselves.
I've always thought that I have a very good memory. My short term memory, up until the aging process started to kick in, was phenomenal. Lately it's been ok but nothing to write home about.
That however is not my concern. What I realized on the weekend, and what has disturbed me greatly, is that I have very few memories of my high school years. My memories of my pre teens are sketchy but they are there. I have very little memory of any of my high school years. I can't remember teachers names nor do I have a visual of these people that I spent so much time with, I remember some of my classes only vaguely, others not at all. I remember certain events, like the time I was in the choir for my fair lady but I remember very little about the productions themselves. I know there were several but not from memory, from logic. The production was huge, we must have done it more than once. I remember sitting outside on the concrete, legs smothered in baby oil as we fried ourselves brown. I don't remember graduating. But I did.
Is it normal to have so few memories? Today I am remembering a little more than when we were sitting in my favourite restaurant swapping high school stories. The conversation was very one sided.
Out of curiousity I googled memory loss today. Maybe this is a result of my MS? Unlikely. Apparently the MS is much more likely to affect short term memory than long term remote memory. It could be mental illness. Again unlikely. It could be repression caused by a traumatic experience that I had. If that's the case I don't know about it and quite frankly don't want to think about it. So I have no more answers than I did when I started looking into it.
It is disturbing to think that so much of me is missing. How can I honestly relate to my children as they go through the challenges of high school if I don't remember mine? What happened then that shaped who I am today? I don't know. Weird.
I've always thought that I have a very good memory. My short term memory, up until the aging process started to kick in, was phenomenal. Lately it's been ok but nothing to write home about.
That however is not my concern. What I realized on the weekend, and what has disturbed me greatly, is that I have very few memories of my high school years. My memories of my pre teens are sketchy but they are there. I have very little memory of any of my high school years. I can't remember teachers names nor do I have a visual of these people that I spent so much time with, I remember some of my classes only vaguely, others not at all. I remember certain events, like the time I was in the choir for my fair lady but I remember very little about the productions themselves. I know there were several but not from memory, from logic. The production was huge, we must have done it more than once. I remember sitting outside on the concrete, legs smothered in baby oil as we fried ourselves brown. I don't remember graduating. But I did.
Is it normal to have so few memories? Today I am remembering a little more than when we were sitting in my favourite restaurant swapping high school stories. The conversation was very one sided.
Out of curiousity I googled memory loss today. Maybe this is a result of my MS? Unlikely. Apparently the MS is much more likely to affect short term memory than long term remote memory. It could be mental illness. Again unlikely. It could be repression caused by a traumatic experience that I had. If that's the case I don't know about it and quite frankly don't want to think about it. So I have no more answers than I did when I started looking into it.
It is disturbing to think that so much of me is missing. How can I honestly relate to my children as they go through the challenges of high school if I don't remember mine? What happened then that shaped who I am today? I don't know. Weird.
posted by Aussieabroad at
8:42 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home