One sleep away

from my 8 month surgery date. It's hard to believe that 8 months have come and gone so quickly.

For the first time since my surgery however I am not looking forward to recording my official monthly weight. I have my regular Dr's appointment scheduled for first thing in the morning and I had seriously considered canceling it. Just doesn't seem worth the effort. But this is me heading towards the abyss of denial again. This is me feeling myself gravitating towards old behaviours that have caused me to fail so many diets. The all or nothing mentality. When things weren't working I would hide away. Didn't stand on the scale. Reverted to old behaviours. Ate myself up to higher and higher weights.

So... I will go to my Dr's appointment. I will take the 8 month photos. I will announce to the world that they are there for viewing. I will face my disappointment and move on. And it is disappointing. And frustrating. But I made a commitment to record the entire journey not just the good news. I am sure that I am not the first person to experience a major slow down. It happens. It's a buyer be prepared situation. If you are considering surgery this will happen to you too. Work on your head. It'll help lessen the disappointment. But what do I know? I obviously haven't succeeded on this front yet.

"See you" in the morning.