I don't think I want to be a part of this family anymore

I now get it. I understand why people break up families. I understand that people can feel so hopeless about a future that they destroy their present. I understand why parents walk away from their responsibilities to their children - because they have lost hope. Because they have lost themselves in a pit of sucking endless need and greed.

As I sit here dumping my frustrated thoughts no doubt shocking many of my readers I feel a sense of hopelessness that I cannot get away from. The reality of my life is that my children are selfish self centred thoughtless morally challenged individuals. They care for no one but themselves, they do not have the moral fibre to own up when they are/do wrong and they lack the caring that would have them try to set it right.

It's the parents fault, cry the indignant...well, you know what, it isn't. We have always valued independence, hard work and honesty. We live it and we reward it. I live in world where respect is earned as is trust. They live in a world where they expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. Our worlds are very different and I'm tired of trying to bridge those two worlds. Right now I cannot see the reward, namely children who grow to be contributing adults that leave positive marks on the world and people they interact with. I do not know how to steer them in the right direction anymore. Nothing works. I can not make them care. My rant is largely aimed at my sons but I see red flags concerning my daughter as well. This devastates me.

It's tough realizing that this is likely the reality for me until they leave home. Thank goodness for my husband. He has been wonderful lately and I am finding myself falling in love with him all over again. Hopefully together we can stay strong.

Deep breath. Time to go and deal with life. As sucky as it may be.