Weight Update

I've been a little cagey about my weight the last couple of weeks. As per usual when things get tough I tend to go into caveman/ avoidance mode but in reality that has helped me very little this time. It's been playing on my mind big time.

So... the summary. From my low of 259 I jumped back up to 263.8 in a period of about 6 days. I don't have an explanation for this. As this happened I reacted in my pre surgery way of WTF... why am I avoiding all the things I like when it's not working anyway. I ate a lot of chips over the past 4 days as my mature and rationalized reaction to my weight gain. Sheesh. What I was more likely dealing with was a period of lashing out in reaction to losing my job but it was hard to recognize that when I was in the throes of it.

The good news is that the DS is still working. As I upped my protein and got my fluids back on track the weight started to fall again. This morning it was 258lbs. So far that is a loss of 7lbs for the month (my check date is the 30th of April for a full month tally). It's slow but it's a loss and given everything that's going on maybe I should be thankful for that.

I have to learn to be patient. I also have to learn to create an artificial structure for myself. Work provided that structure Monday to Friday and I need to find a way to replace that. I am too undisciplined just to wing it.

So - the good news is that I'm starting to see some positive movement. The bad news is that I clearly have not worked out some very deeply ingrained stress reactors.I just didn't know it until the stress level tipped into the stupidity level. I have some work to do.