Why do you do this?
Why are you so open of yourself in a public forum? This is a question that's been posed to me a couple of times. The reason for blogging I've discussed before. The openness is another question altogether.
The way to obesity is a complicated path. For me it was full of denial, withheld thoughts, inappropriate responses to lifes challenges, failures and success. The road out of obesity is equally as complicated. Weight loss surgery certainly speeds up the process but the need to change behaviour is still there. I share openly, in part, to demonstrate that this is not an easy option.
The fears and insecurities, the inappropriate responses don't magically go away. They are still there. There will still be failures. There will still be times when you feel like you're doing everything wrong. The difference is that WLS gives you a 'soft landing'. It gives you the opportunity to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue the journey you've started in a more intelligent way. It gives you time to learn new behaviours.
For example. The last month or so has not been my best from a ""doing the right thing" perspective. I have turned to some old behaviours that could not be described as anything other than self sabotaging. During this period I have not lost any weight but I have also not gained it. During this time I have also come to the realization that I eat the way I have been in reaction to a sense of being overwhelmed. To a sense of feeling inadequate. The 'push over the cliff' for me was starting a new job. I was in a situation where all of a sudden I was on a huge learning curve but feeling the need to perform at the same time. The expectations of me are huge. I was/am afraid that I can't live up to these expectations. Quick let's eat...
I know it doesn't make sense. I know this is not how a rational person reacts. But it is how I am programmed to react. I need to program myself differently and I'm gaining some insight into that. But the bottom line is I share all of this because it is part of my journey. It is not all pretty. It is what it is.
The way to obesity is a complicated path. For me it was full of denial, withheld thoughts, inappropriate responses to lifes challenges, failures and success. The road out of obesity is equally as complicated. Weight loss surgery certainly speeds up the process but the need to change behaviour is still there. I share openly, in part, to demonstrate that this is not an easy option.
The fears and insecurities, the inappropriate responses don't magically go away. They are still there. There will still be failures. There will still be times when you feel like you're doing everything wrong. The difference is that WLS gives you a 'soft landing'. It gives you the opportunity to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue the journey you've started in a more intelligent way. It gives you time to learn new behaviours.
For example. The last month or so has not been my best from a ""doing the right thing" perspective. I have turned to some old behaviours that could not be described as anything other than self sabotaging. During this period I have not lost any weight but I have also not gained it. During this time I have also come to the realization that I eat the way I have been in reaction to a sense of being overwhelmed. To a sense of feeling inadequate. The 'push over the cliff' for me was starting a new job. I was in a situation where all of a sudden I was on a huge learning curve but feeling the need to perform at the same time. The expectations of me are huge. I was/am afraid that I can't live up to these expectations. Quick let's eat...
I know it doesn't make sense. I know this is not how a rational person reacts. But it is how I am programmed to react. I need to program myself differently and I'm gaining some insight into that. But the bottom line is I share all of this because it is part of my journey. It is not all pretty. It is what it is.
posted by Aussieabroad at
8:46 AM
2 Comments:
You have eloquently expressed what I have been struggling with. Thank you for writing that, reminds me that I'm not the only person on the planet who struggles with these issues.
By
Tia L., At
4:35 PM
Thank you..........
By
Anonymous, At
4:56 PM
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