One Year - the Words

This time last year I was lying on an operating table in Rochester Michigan. Vulnerable. Exposed. Morbidly obese. I weighed 350lbs. I had reached a weight where my ability to do the little things in life was severely impacted. Putting on socks had turned into a sweat breaking activity. I couldn't go rafting because the life jackets didn't fit. I couldn't enjoy a play at an old historic theatre because my butt didn't fit. I had gone past the point of no return.

This time last year the talented Dr L was cutting away a part of stomach and crafting me a much smaller one, he took out my gallbladder in anticipation of the issues I would experience with the upcoming rapid weight loss and he rearranged my intestines to give me the most powerful weight loss tool out there. The Duodenal Switch. The DS with both it's restrictive component (smaller stomach) and malabsorptive component (rearranged intestines), in theory, results in more successful long term weight loss than the other options available.

Have I been successful? Despite my regular moaning and groaning about my slowed weight loss the answer is a resounding yes.

In one year

* I have lost 132 lbs

* I have lost 68% of my excess weight (based on a goal of 160lbs)

* I have dropped from a starting BMI of 50.1 to 31.3. I am so close to being merely over weight...

* I have moved from wearing size 24/26 clothes to now wearing size 14/16. I still have an X in my clothing sizing but the X is the first letter and not the last. I can now buy clothes off the rack at any store. This is very empowering

* My blood pressure is down to today's low of 102/66.

* I started a new job. A job which I love. A job in which people judge me for my performance and not my weight.

* my sleep apnea is cured. It was gone the week after surgery.

I can now

* put on socks and shoes without pre planning as to how I am going to manipulate my body to achieve said goal

* walk up several flights of stairs without being winded

* stay up much later and hence spend more time with hubby. This has been good for our marriage

* sit in any chair without fearing that I am going to break it and/or not fit. This has happened on more than one occasion in the past. It's a period of my life I will be happy never to revisit.

* walk into a room/store and not fear that people are looking at me. It never fails to amaze me how much better service I receive these days. When people aren't judging you. Judging you for being fat

* fit into spaces that I never thought I would. A little wow moment last week involved a pillar, a railing and me fitting between the two when hubby could not. Wow.
* see my marriage lasting. This is not solely because I look better, I think it's much more that I am more confident in myself. I am more 'myself' than I have been for a long long time. I am more the person I was when I first met hubby.
* look in the mirror and see a normal sized person. A wrinkly anemic looking one, but normal sized.

I've learned

* that protein and iron are ongoing challenges for me. My supplements and food intake need to be very carefully monitored
* that losing weight is no easier with a tool than it is without. It's still a head game - the main difference is that the tool counters some of the head stuff while you're trying to work it out
* that I am worth it. That doing this for myself is neither selfish or vain.
* that you can never trust a fart. I had urgency issues at times before surgery (most likely as a result of my multiple sclerosis) and I still have them now. I don't allow myself the opportunity of an oops... if my body speaks I run. Probably a good thing too
* that I am a much nicer person to be around as a result of Flagyl. My surgeon is dead against me taking an antibiotic on a long term basis. For me it's all about the gas. I could better control it through diet I am sure but I can not afford the time to find out what works and what doesn't. I work with people all day. I want to stay married. Without Flagyl the gas is nothing short of noxious.
* that support is critical through this wild ride called weight loss surgery. My friends, my family, the people I've met online have all been critical to my success. There are too many names to name but thank you... you have all made an impression.

All round it's been an amazing year. A year filled with many more wows than I can share here. A year that's been filled with angst and frustration as my weight has stalled, increased and stalled again. A year where I have learned so much about myself and a year where I discovered I have yet to learn so much more. I am healthier. I am happier. I feel more empowered. I feel more like ME.