I've been approved!

Holy crap. I received a call from my selected surgeons office today. I’ve been approved by OHIP for the initial consult. It took less than three weeks from the time I put it into the mail, it took two weeks from the time it reached OHIP. Holy crap!

How do I feel?

Scared
Excited
Scared
Have to tell my husband
Scared
Excited
Holy crap!

I actually received the call this morning while I had one of my colleagues in my office. I really couldn’t speak but booked my appointment for October 23rd. I wish I had done it earlier. Assuming that Dr. L takes me on as a patient I could get this done this year. Holy crap!

I have so many thoughts swirling through my mind. Will I die? Am I prepared to leave my 7 year old to be raised by her Dad and the terrible twosome, the teenaged boys? How wonderful would it be to walk to work from the train station and not feel like I’m going to have a heart attack? How wonderful would it be to not hurt all the time, to have the energy to really enjoy my family, my work, my life? How are we going to deal with me being at reduced pay while I recover? How will my daughter handle me being away for 7 – 10 days, how will I handle being away from her for that long? Can I get away with not buying a larger sized winter coat for this year (yeah I know, shallow, shallow, shallow)? Will I have a ton of hanging skin? Will I regret (I know I would regret dieing… a lot!)?

Am I ready? I think I am but the true test will come when I sit down and speak with my husband. He is analytical and direct – he will ask the hard questions. If I can get through that and feel that the answers make sense to me (like they did when I started this process) then I will be able to say I’m ready. I know I’m ready for a change. I know I won’t live if I don’t make that change. I know that the long term odds for weight loss any other way are very much against me. I know the Duodenal Switch is the best surgery option for me. I know I want to meet “me” again. I know I don’t want to die.