Kids
It's been a while since I've done a kids update. For those of you who have been following the trials and tribulations of my kids the saga certainly continues:
Mr 16 is still with us. We were already to have him change schools but the public school near his mom has a lousy reputation - it would have meant taking him from one set of issues and putting him in an environment where he could potentially have to deal with far worse. Not happening. So the only other option was a Catholic high school. Both Mr 16 and his mom had fundamental issues with that. Mr 16 because he is a self professed agnostic and very much against the bureaucracy of organized religion. No one can claim that the catholic church is nothing if not bureaucratic. His mom because her other ex spouse is raising their children as catholics and she has seen a level of fanaticism that concerns her. So the best option was to leave him where he was. And so far it's working out ok. I think the impending move combined with some very pointed feedback in his last report card has made him realize that we were not talking out of our rear ends in terms of the impact he was having on his future prospects. It'll be interesting to see if the effort continues. I am hopeful.
Mr 14 has taken Mr 16's place as ass of the household. The more I think about it the more I am convinced that they have a calendar in their room and they make conscious decisions about who's turn it is to be the bigger pain in the butt. Right now it is squarely Mr. 14. Moody, insolent, petulant, obnoxious, self serving are just a few descriptors that come to mind. Life is tough for him. It's all his fault when really it isn't. He's being picked on. Hmmm... I wonder if he's been chatting with the afore mentioned manager. I see a common theme!
Ms 8 is Ms 8. She is smart, funny and bossy as all sin. She needs to be correct all of the time, which typically she is but she has not yet learned the art of grace. She is doing exceptionally well at school - I have not seen anything come home that was not some shade of 'A' - but she doesn't take feedback well. She takes it so personally when you try to give her advice on what she could do differently. I'm thinking this will always be a challenge for her.
The three of them get along like cats and dogs. When I travel it is absolutely brutal. Ms 8 cries to the point of hysteria. She calls me. She calls her dad. Dad does not do well with this stuff. Dad gets so stressed that he tells me I need to find another job. I do not want to do this. Get the picture?
It's all about the little things and teaching the three of them to back off from the little things. I need the boys to understand that when I am gone Ms 8 is particularly vulnerable and rather than use it as an opportunity to got at it without her having Mommy's protection, what I need them to do is show empathy. To reach out to her. To distract her. To put their needs aside. I need it for half and hour in the morning and about 2 hours at night. The rest of the time that can be the selfish teenagers they seem to prefer to be. Ms 8 has a definite part to play in all this. We're working on it but the bottom line is, she is only 8.
I will do one more trip. If it doesn't work I will need to seriously think about changing jobs. It will be devastating to me to have to do that but my family has to come first. I am not yet at the point where I could do this without resentment. I hope for all our sakes that if it becomes necessary that I can find the strength to do that.
Speaking of kids - time to head out and pick them up. I am working/blogging from home today. I have a meeting with my training managers at 3.30pm that I need to dial in for so time to get my butt into gear. My very sore butt. But that's another post... a weather post... bring on summer!
Mr 16 is still with us. We were already to have him change schools but the public school near his mom has a lousy reputation - it would have meant taking him from one set of issues and putting him in an environment where he could potentially have to deal with far worse. Not happening. So the only other option was a Catholic high school. Both Mr 16 and his mom had fundamental issues with that. Mr 16 because he is a self professed agnostic and very much against the bureaucracy of organized religion. No one can claim that the catholic church is nothing if not bureaucratic. His mom because her other ex spouse is raising their children as catholics and she has seen a level of fanaticism that concerns her. So the best option was to leave him where he was. And so far it's working out ok. I think the impending move combined with some very pointed feedback in his last report card has made him realize that we were not talking out of our rear ends in terms of the impact he was having on his future prospects. It'll be interesting to see if the effort continues. I am hopeful.
Mr 14 has taken Mr 16's place as ass of the household. The more I think about it the more I am convinced that they have a calendar in their room and they make conscious decisions about who's turn it is to be the bigger pain in the butt. Right now it is squarely Mr. 14. Moody, insolent, petulant, obnoxious, self serving are just a few descriptors that come to mind. Life is tough for him. It's all his fault when really it isn't. He's being picked on. Hmmm... I wonder if he's been chatting with the afore mentioned manager. I see a common theme!
Ms 8 is Ms 8. She is smart, funny and bossy as all sin. She needs to be correct all of the time, which typically she is but she has not yet learned the art of grace. She is doing exceptionally well at school - I have not seen anything come home that was not some shade of 'A' - but she doesn't take feedback well. She takes it so personally when you try to give her advice on what she could do differently. I'm thinking this will always be a challenge for her.
The three of them get along like cats and dogs. When I travel it is absolutely brutal. Ms 8 cries to the point of hysteria. She calls me. She calls her dad. Dad does not do well with this stuff. Dad gets so stressed that he tells me I need to find another job. I do not want to do this. Get the picture?
It's all about the little things and teaching the three of them to back off from the little things. I need the boys to understand that when I am gone Ms 8 is particularly vulnerable and rather than use it as an opportunity to got at it without her having Mommy's protection, what I need them to do is show empathy. To reach out to her. To distract her. To put their needs aside. I need it for half and hour in the morning and about 2 hours at night. The rest of the time that can be the selfish teenagers they seem to prefer to be. Ms 8 has a definite part to play in all this. We're working on it but the bottom line is, she is only 8.
I will do one more trip. If it doesn't work I will need to seriously think about changing jobs. It will be devastating to me to have to do that but my family has to come first. I am not yet at the point where I could do this without resentment. I hope for all our sakes that if it becomes necessary that I can find the strength to do that.
Speaking of kids - time to head out and pick them up. I am working/blogging from home today. I have a meeting with my training managers at 3.30pm that I need to dial in for so time to get my butt into gear. My very sore butt. But that's another post... a weather post... bring on summer!
posted by Aussieabroad at
2:19 PM
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