Feeling Blue
I don't know if I'm suffering from the typical mid winter blahs or if I'm truly down but regardless, I'm not feeling myself today.
There's no one thing that's getting me down but my general malaise is making everything a little harder to deal with.
For starters, I've put on weight. Since measuring myself at a low of 277 I've bounced back to 280. My head tells me that it's only temporary but it feels too long. All the old fears come rushing to the forefront. To make matters worse, the gas is back with a vengeance. I finished my Flagyll a few days ago and today I am suffering. Looks like it's time to go back to the doctor and get a maintenance dose. This after telling her yesterday I was doing great... how quickly things can change. The gas thing definitely has an impact - it makes me so uncomfortable and so self conscious. Not to mention so stinky!
Next - Mr 13 is driving me to drink...well in my mind anyway. He's been an obnoxious disrespectful little turd this week and I'm worn out. I actually yelled at him... this is so not me. I'm not a yeller, I tend to silently stew. Well he got a rise out of me. Beaten down by a 13 year old... yep, doesn't get more sad than that...sigh...
Lastly, and of great concern, I'm feeling very apathetic towards my work. This hasn't happened in a long time and I can't afford to have it happen now. Things were going so well... am I just trying to shoot myself in the foot? Can't sabotage myself with food so let's take it out on another part of my life? Crap - I hope not.
There ya have it, throwing myself a major pity party when in reality I really shouldn't. Others have it far worse than I do... I need to give myself a shake.
There's no one thing that's getting me down but my general malaise is making everything a little harder to deal with.
For starters, I've put on weight. Since measuring myself at a low of 277 I've bounced back to 280. My head tells me that it's only temporary but it feels too long. All the old fears come rushing to the forefront. To make matters worse, the gas is back with a vengeance. I finished my Flagyll a few days ago and today I am suffering. Looks like it's time to go back to the doctor and get a maintenance dose. This after telling her yesterday I was doing great... how quickly things can change. The gas thing definitely has an impact - it makes me so uncomfortable and so self conscious. Not to mention so stinky!
Next - Mr 13 is driving me to drink...well in my mind anyway. He's been an obnoxious disrespectful little turd this week and I'm worn out. I actually yelled at him... this is so not me. I'm not a yeller, I tend to silently stew. Well he got a rise out of me. Beaten down by a 13 year old... yep, doesn't get more sad than that...sigh...
Lastly, and of great concern, I'm feeling very apathetic towards my work. This hasn't happened in a long time and I can't afford to have it happen now. Things were going so well... am I just trying to shoot myself in the foot? Can't sabotage myself with food so let's take it out on another part of my life? Crap - I hope not.
There ya have it, throwing myself a major pity party when in reality I really shouldn't. Others have it far worse than I do... I need to give myself a shake.
posted by Aussieabroad at
9:59 PM
2 Comments:
Can't help with much of this, as I'm in my own work-related funk -- but as for "gaining" weight???
Naah. What I discovered after multiple months into the DS is that, after the initial uniformly downward movement of the scale, I tended to lose in little clumps, then bounce up a few pounds (usually 3-4) before I'd let go of the bounce and lose a little more. I can't remember when this started happening, exactly, but about 3-4 months into it, I think.
(Sharon of Sharon's So Called Life is the same, apparently, and she's Ms. Petite these days.)
So take heart. It's normal. The whole first year (and after) is a learning process.
Hugs to you -- sorry you're feeling blue.
By
Anonymous, At
12:02 AM
Thanks Deluzy. This morning I'm up another 2lbs... it is so disheartening especially when I know I'm doing the right things. I had got my head around the stalls but am so not ready to deal with this.
Thanks for the feedback... I really needed that.
By
Aussieabroad, At
7:47 AM
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