Secrets
This week I got caught out in a secret. A secret I didn't intend to have but in the act of omission, of silence I did in fact have.
This blog, for me, is a place where I can put words behind the myriad of thoughts that sometimes fly through my head. It's a place where I put weight behind those thoughts and have the opportunity to look at them as a stranger would. It's a place where I am trying to understand my weight issues, and I have just a few of those! It's a place I can find a release in a way that adds no calories. It's my thinking place.
The fact that sometimes I reach a reader in a very real way brings me incredible joy. It's like I have a soul mate, someone who understands what I'm thinking or feeling only because they too have experienced those same feelings.
I have a friend in California who over the years has struggled with her weight in the same way that I have. Some time in the last week she reached out to me... at an email address that I no longer use. On Friday my husband forwarded me that email. His note... your blog???????
Yep - my husband did not know that I had a blog... he does now. And that's ok. It really wasn't an intentional secret, it was something I just did. Usually in the evening as my daughter fell asleep or just before I went to bed. Before he was ready for bed.
I laughed when I got the forwarded email, at home, at work, on my cell. I guess he wanted me to get that message (to which I still need to reply...and I will friend). But you know, I wonder if it bothered him? It's like I have some secret life that he is not privy to. My husband is a very logical person - I'm not sure he would want to read some of the stuff I put in here. The inside of my head is far from a logical place, in fact it can get down right messy. Being who he is I know he would want to help me, to fix what was broken. But I'm not here for a fix. I do this to understand and then move on. It's just as much about moving on as it is anything else.
I told hubby if he wants the link he can have it. I don't mind sharing.
This blog, for me, is a place where I can put words behind the myriad of thoughts that sometimes fly through my head. It's a place where I put weight behind those thoughts and have the opportunity to look at them as a stranger would. It's a place where I am trying to understand my weight issues, and I have just a few of those! It's a place I can find a release in a way that adds no calories. It's my thinking place.
The fact that sometimes I reach a reader in a very real way brings me incredible joy. It's like I have a soul mate, someone who understands what I'm thinking or feeling only because they too have experienced those same feelings.
I have a friend in California who over the years has struggled with her weight in the same way that I have. Some time in the last week she reached out to me... at an email address that I no longer use. On Friday my husband forwarded me that email. His note... your blog???????
Yep - my husband did not know that I had a blog... he does now. And that's ok. It really wasn't an intentional secret, it was something I just did. Usually in the evening as my daughter fell asleep or just before I went to bed. Before he was ready for bed.
I laughed when I got the forwarded email, at home, at work, on my cell. I guess he wanted me to get that message (to which I still need to reply...and I will friend). But you know, I wonder if it bothered him? It's like I have some secret life that he is not privy to. My husband is a very logical person - I'm not sure he would want to read some of the stuff I put in here. The inside of my head is far from a logical place, in fact it can get down right messy. Being who he is I know he would want to help me, to fix what was broken. But I'm not here for a fix. I do this to understand and then move on. It's just as much about moving on as it is anything else.
I told hubby if he wants the link he can have it. I don't mind sharing.
posted by Aussieabroad at
7:57 AM
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